Getting Started as a Couple: Broaching the Subject

MissoulaMan62

khiuhiuh

Given the normal, natural, and joyful nature of swinging, a great number of people are drawn to the lifestyle. Unfortunately there are barriers to getting involved. One primary barrier is the bitter jealousy of most of society who wish they had a better and more expansive sex life, and are therefore hostile to those who do. Another substantial barrier is simply communicating the desire to one’s spouse or partner.

Herein lies trepidation. What if they are angry, disgusted with you, demand a divorce, reveal to the congregation what a terrible person you are? To what extent are you willing to allow other peoples’s prejudices and hatred to ruin your life and happiness?

The worst that will happen is you’ll be divorced, excluded from the church, and denied by neighbors and false friends. The glorious result is your sex life, which is coexistent with your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, will expand tremendously.

The church is a human institution, created to gain and maintain power over your life and life choices, take your money, and shame and terrify you into obedience. Who is the congregation? A group of people living under the same spiritual and sexual misery as you, and indoctrinated to shame you and attempt to “save” you once you have “strayed.” Who knows, they may knock on your door, asking how they can get involved in swinging. That is missionary work.

How can a benign and loving creator want us, and demand that we, exist in sexual denial and misery? We are specifically designed and created to fuck, and we have no inherent drive to be monogamous. It is entirely an artificial, man-made, socially restrictive construct.

Women in particular are exposed to shame and forced self-disgust. Ladies, have you ever been in the midst of a great fuck, just slipping into the animalistic, explosive power of cumming, and thought “Gee, this is really wrong, and I shouldn’t be doing it. After this, I’m going to spend the rest of my life knitting in Church.” Don’t get me wrong, I think knitting is pretty great.

Let’s consider the terrible irony of both partners craving a normal, joyful sex life. Picture the two of you, sleeping next to one another, each fantasizing about swinging. The lady has a desperate need for creampie gang bang, while the husband has a desperate need to watch her jacking off on cock after cock, cumming repeatedly while the cocks pump load after load of cum into her, yet neither dares to mention it.

Extremely rare is the person who, while fucking, has not fantasized about someone else: a celebrity, porn star, neighbor, their pastor or pastor’s wife, etc. This is normal, healthy and righteous. The sin is upon society, for making you feel guilty, ashamed, dirty, and so forth.

So, how do you broach the subject? I am extremely fortunate in that I have never had to do so.

Perhaps the best time is right after sex, while cuddling, or during foreplay, while your partner is extremely aroused. Ask if they have ever fantasized about sex with another. “Admit” the idea turns you on and you would be absolutely happy to watch. If they get upset, drop it for the time being.

You could try mentioning it while watching television or a film. Is there a celebrity they have indicated they find attractive? Arrange an under blanket cuddling movie night, featuring that person. Wear nothing, or as little as you can without it seeming unusual. Place a hand on your partner’s thigh, very close to their genitals.

Every time the celebrity is on screen, especially if there are romantic scenes, best if they are sex scenes, touch your partner’s genitals. Over time, make the touch more intense, keep your hand there longer, begin to play and stroke.

After the first two or three appearances of the celebrity, mention your partner’s attraction to them. Hopefully they will respond physically and/or verbally. If your partner becomes aroused, this is the perfect time to gently ask if they fantasize about them. If they react positively, assure them you are absolutely supportive of this and believe it is healthy and normal. If not, give them a silent kiss, but keep caressing their genitals. With luck, they will re-visit the conversation.

These days, most adult stores are clean and well lit. The stereotypical dank and smelly ones are largely gone. Go to Victoria’s Secret and look around. Then find a a nice adult store and buy them something. If your partner is a lady, lingerie is almost certainly a good idea. If they are a man, I really don’t know what to suggest. Ask the clerk for advice.

When they ask, tell them where you bought it. It’s likely a lady will inquire why you didn’t go to Victoria’s Secret. Tell her you did, which is the truth, and that you visited the nice, clean adult store to see if they had any other options. Tell her they had essentially the same productss so you purchased there, rather than backtracking. Be sure to mention the vast array of other items they carry. Hopefully that will perk your partner’s interest.

If your partner is the man in the relationship, buy lingerie and tell him you bought a gift for the both of you, and that you’ll try it on for him.

If you can arrange an excursion to the adult store, wander back into the glory hole area if they have one. When your parnter asks what’s back there (if you’re the man and you’re really lucky, she already knows and has enjoyed them many times), make a “guess” they must be for anonymous sex, or maybe arranged sex with people other than the participant’s spouse or partner. Bring up the fact that many couples enjoy sex with various people and this must be one way they engage in this. Hopefully they will not react negatively. If so, be happy to leave.

Otherwise, encourage them to browse. Notice anything you can which relates to swinging. Pick it up and examine it. Show it to your partner and mention this must be an example of the sort of activities engaged in by the people who enjoy the glory holes.

I have heard, though I don’t know if this is actually true, that husbands have arranged for a man to seduce his own wife. I can think of two potential pitfalls if this works. The wife may learn of the plot, become angry and divorce the well -meaning husband. The other is the wife may simply fall in love with the seducer and divorce the husband. Hopefully, however, this will lead to swinging.

If your partner does leave due to your interest in the two of you swinging, simply tell sympathetic people they left because you had hoped to increase their sexual experience by offering to provide them sex with other people, and they reacted badly. The divorce hurts, but maybe this will open your door into swinging. There are singles in the lifestyle, and they often discuss it with non-swinger friends in an effort to recruit them.

These are just a couple of ideas I have. Everyone is an individual, and there is no way for me to predict how any given person would react. Watch for cues, start slow, and I wish you the best of luck.

My Lust to All,

MissoulaMan62.

About the author: Bob Lovely Verified icon 2 Verified icon 3 Verified icon 4

Having lived away from my home town of Columbus for decades I have finally returned and hope to find some friends to play with. I own a charming (or maybe rustic), 126 year old, 3 bed, 2 bath house with an outside hot tub.

Once I get organized I will be working on hosting events.

I am 5' 7", 5#, average build, with long, salt and pepper brown hair, heterosexual and sapiosexual.

I am fully vaccinated with Moderna, D&D free, and TAN with paperwork.

I would like to meet ladies and groups for sex. I have been of many men in creampie gang bangs, and would love to be involved with a group of people who will video our sex and post it online on porn sites.

I hope to meet a compatible married or single lady for a long-term relationship, who is dedicated to non-monogamy, and loves bareback, creampie gangbang. I am polyamorous.

I am extremely oral, very focused on the lady's pleasure, and love to cuddle.

I also love women's feet.

I see monogamy as an illness, or at least a symptom. I view it as a weapon of the patriarchy to minimize the enjoyment of life, especially that of women, and continue their hegemony on the influence in our society.

In addition to my love of sex, I am also an inveterate nerd. I am a huge fan of the science fiction, fantasy, and horror genres through books, art, film and television. I am very into pencil and paper role playing games, as well as board games and chess. (If you love winning at board games and chess, I'm your man.)

I am an armchair military historian, love NFL and college football, and Major League Baseball. My NFL teams are the Cincinnati Bengals and the Green Bay Packers. My MLB team is the Cincinnati Reds.

I love to cook and enjoy the foods of virtually all cultures, I despise plastic, I recycle, I love the outdoors, and am a decades long practitioner of traditional Okinawan Goju Ryu Karate Do.

Thank you,

I make brief annual trips to:

Great Falls, Montana;
Spokane, Washington;
Seattle, Washington,
Pasco, Washington, and;
Portland, Oregon.

My lust to all,

MissoulaMan62.

== Results from bdsmtest ==
100%  Exhibitionist 
100%  Voyeur 
100%  Non-monogamist 
100%  Swinger 
92%  Experimentalist 
70%  Cuckold / Cuckqueen 
53%  Primal (Hunter) 
49%  Degrader 
47%  Daddy/Mommy 
41%  Primal (Prey) 
41%  Degradee 
36.5%  Sadist 
35%  Vanilla 
30%  Rigger 
30%  Masochist 
29.5%  Dominant 
28%  Owner 
27.5%  Brat Tamer 
26%  Ageplayer 
15%  Master/Mistress 
11%  Pet 
4%  Submissive 
4%  Switch 
2%  Brat 
1%  Rope Bunny 
1%  Girl/Boy 
1%  Slave 
0%  Findomme 
0%  Pay Pig 

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